You and your partner may choose to do the exercise
at the same time or on separate occasions and
then share your discoveries later.
It's best to dedicate a whole evening to this
task.
You'll need five sheets of paper and head them
up as follows: Career, Home, Family, Possessions
and Pastimes.
Your goals
Taking as much time as you need, write
down on each page all the things you hope for
under that heading Note down all the realistic
goals you're currently aiming for and the things
you'd like to aspire to in the future. Think
as far ahead as you can into retirement and
old age.
The following questions may help:
- Career - work or not? What
sort of job? Location, salary, hours? Self-employed?
Employed? The same job all your life or will
you change direction?
- Home - where? How many
homes? What style? Will you settle in one
place or move regularly?
- Family - children? If so,
how many and how will you educate them? Will
you live close to parents, brothers and sisters?
How often will you see them? How much involvement
will they have with your life?
- Possessions - what are
the essentials? What luxuries do you definitely
want? What would be added bonuses?
- Pastimes - social life
and friends: how much time and how often?
Hobbies and relaxation time: how much time
will you spend as a couple, how much time
apart? Will you share activities or have separate
hobbies?
Ask why
Once you've completed these lists, take
some time to think about why you'd like to achieve
these things. What is the need in you that achieving
this goal will satisfy? Is it security, popularity
or your own satisfaction? Or maybe it's about
maintaining certain core values in your life,
such as caring for family or giving to society.
Sharing this information with your partner will
help you to feel closer and build intimacy.
Further help
For more on your priorities, dreams and values
have a look at Do
you want the same things?
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