Preparation
Before
trying
this
exercise
it's
worth
having
a
look
at
the
Guidelines
for
exercises.
Take
two
sheets
of
paper
each
and
do
the
exercise
individually
before
talking
about
it
together.
Before
you
start
you
may
want
to
read
Understanding
jealousy.
What
to
do
Take
your
first
sheet
of
paper
and
divide
it
into
two
columns.
Call
the
first
column
"My
jealousy
triggers."
Under
this
heading,
write
down
as
many
things
as
you
can
remember
that
have
made
you
jealous
in
the
past.
Include
things
that
happened
in
previous
relationships
as
well
as
your
current
one.
You
might
want
to
list
things
such
as
hearing
stories
about
your
partner's
ex,
knowing
someone
else
fancies
them
and
flirting
at
parties.
Call
the
second
column
"Thoughts
and
feelings."
Read
back
over
the
first
column
and
write
down
all
the
thoughts
and
feelings
you
remember
having
around
the
time
of
those
triggers.
For
example,
flirting
at
parties
may
have
left
you
feeling
left
out
and
resentful.
Top
tip
If
you
do
this
exercise
when
you're
feeling
angry
or
upset
with
your
partner,
you'll
get
quite
a
different
picture.
Make
sure
you're
OK
before
you
do
it.
Divide
the
second
sheet
of
paper
into
two
columns
as
well.
Call
the
first
column
"What
I
can
do
to
help
myself"
and
the
second
one
"What
my
partner
can
do
to
help
me."
Under
each
heading,
write
down
as
many
ideas
as
you
can,
making
them
as
specific
as
possible
to
the
triggers
on
your
list.
In
the
first
column
you
may
include
things
such
as
"Seek
reassurance,"
"Ask
for
information"
and
"Use
positive
self-talk."
In
the
other
you
might
have
"Be
affectionate
and
attentive,"
"Don't
talk
to
ex,"
"Agree
boundaries
for
flirting."
Talk
it
through
When
you've
both
completed
your
lists,
sit
down
and
share
what
you've
written.
This
should
give
you
a
better
understanding
of
the
things
that
create
jealousy
in
your
relationship
and
help
you
devise
ways
of
managing
it.
Further
help
If
completing
this
exercise
leaves
you
feeling
uncomfortable
or
you
have
concerns
about
your
relationship,
try
talking
with
your
partner
or
a
trusted
friend.
Alternatively,
you
might
want
to
consider
seeing
a
relationship
counsellor.
To
find
out
more,
see
Do
you
need
counselling?
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