Abnormal
behaviour
It's
important
to
accept
that
arguments
are
a
normal
part
of
relationships.
We're
all
different
and
where
there's
difference,
there
will
be
disagreement.
But
when
arguing
seems
to
be
a
way
of
life
and
leaves
you
feeling
exhausted,
hurt
or
wondering
if
you
want
to
stay
in
the
relationship,
it's
time
to
call
a
truce
and
sort
things
out.
The
first
step
towards
doing
this
is
to
understand
what
you're
really
arguing
about
and
get
an
insight
into
your
conflict
style.
After
you've
looked
at
both
these
areas,
you
can
use
some
of
the
techniques
below
to
help
you
sort
things
out.
Some
can
be
done
alone;
others
need
your
partner's
cooperation.
If
there's
violence
Violence
or
threats
of
violence
are
never
acceptable
in
a
relationship.
If
arguments
are
always
aggressive,
or
you
avoid
conflict
because
you're
scared
things
may
get
out
of
control,
you
need
support.
You
can
contact
the
Women's
Aid
helpline
free
on
0808
200
0247.
You
can
also
get
further
information
about
domestic
violence
from
our
Hitting
Home
site.
Be
self-aware
Self-awareness
and
self-responsibility
are
the
first
steps
in
sorting
out
and
avoiding
conflict.
It's
impossible
to
make
your
partner
change,
but
if
you
change
your
behaviour
they'll
almost
certainly
react
differently.
Assume
the
best
-
unless
you
have
evidence
to
the
contrary,
always
give
your
partner
the
benefit
of
the
doubt.
Check
your
conscience
-
are
you
arguing
because
there's
something
you're
avoiding,
such
as
apologising,
compromising
or
forgiving?
Make
sure
you're
not
fighting
to
protect
your
pride.
Think
about
whether
you're
being
affected
by
something
else
-
don't
underestimate
the
power
of
external
circumstances.
Are
you
stressed,
tired,
hormonal
or
angry
about
something
else?
Be
adult
-
do
you
tend
to
slip
into
behaving
like
a
child,
sulking,
blaming
or
being
obstinate?
Or
do
you
become
like
a
critical
parent,
condescending,
criticising
or
punishing?
An
adult
is
calm
and
focused,
and
listens
and
negotiates.
Own
your
feelings
-
your
partner
can't
make
you
feel
something.
Your
feelings
are
under
your
own
control.
If
you're
angry,
say
"I'm
angry
because...",
not
"You
made
me
angry."
Improve
communication
Good
communication
is
vital
to
making
peace.
Often
arguments
go
on
and
on,
just
because
one
or
both
parties
feel
they
haven't
been
heard.
The
tips
below
will
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