Preparation
- Before
trying
this
exercise
it's
worth
having
a
look
at
the
Guidelines
for
exercises.
- Make
a
date
in
advance
to
do
this
exercise.
Allow
yourselves
an
hour.
- Make
sure
you're
not
going
to
be
disturbed.
- Write
your
answers
on
a
separate
piece
of
paper
using
the
headings
below,
(leave
space
for
you
to
fill
in
your
answers)
.
- Use
one
sheet
of
paper
per
issue.
Before
your
start
It's
worth
having
a
look
at
how
to
do
these
exercises.
While
many
people
find
these
exericises
hugely
beneficial
-
some
people
discover
things
which
are
difficult
and
painful.
In
a
counselling
situation,
these
issues
could
be
looked
at
during
the
next
session,
but
when
completing
them
at
home
you'll
need
to
have
some
guidelines
to
work
with.
The
exercise
The
issue
between
us
is...
(Write
down
the
issue)
Partner
one
It
is
bothering
me
because...
I'm
partly
responsible
because
I...
To
resolve
this
we
could...
(list
as
many
options
as
you
can
think
of)
Partner
two
It
is
bothering
me
because...
I'm
partly
responsible
because
I...
To
resolve
this
we
could...
(again,
list
as
many
options
as
you
can
think
of)
Top
tip
Don't
try
this
exercise
when
either
of
you
is
feeling
angry
or
hurt
with
the
other.
Try
to
take
a
step
back
from
the
emotions
of
the
issue
and
focus
on
finding
positive,
practical
solutions.
Now
take
some
time
to
discuss
and
consider
the
options
available.
Make
sure
the
solutions
are
practical
and
positive.
Both
of
you
We
have
agreed
to...
The
change(s)
I
am
going
to
make
are...
The
change(s)
my
partner
is
going
to
make
are...
We
will
sit
down
and
talk
about
how
the
changes
are
going
on...
(set
a
date)
Further
help
and
links
If
you
find
that
you
just
can't
avoid
arguments,
see
Productive
arguing
for
tips
on
keeping
them
healthy
and
non-destructive.
If
completing
this
exercise
leaves
you
feeling
uncomfortable
or
you
have
concerns
about
your
relationship,
try
talking
it
through
with
your
partner
or
a
trusted
friend.
Alternatively,
you
might
want
to
consider
seeing
a
relationships
counsellor.
To
find
out
more,
go
to
Do
you
need
counselling?
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