Common
conflicts
The
most
common
things
couples
argue
about
are
money,
sex,
work,
children
and
housework
-
roughly
in
that
order.
Most
rows
start
because
of
differences
of
opinion,
but
with
patience
and
basic
communication
skills
you
should
be
able
to
negotiate
a
compromise.
If
there's
violence
Violence
or
threats
of
violence
are
never
acceptable
in
a
relationship.
If
arguments
are
always
aggressive,
or
you
avoid
conflict
because
you're
scared
things
may
get
out
of
control,
you
need
support.
You
can
contact
the
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info
coming>
If
you
find
the
same
old
issues
come
up
over
and
over
again,
or
as
soon
as
one
issue's
resolved
another
crops
up,
then
there's
more
going
on
than
meets
the
eye.
Below
are
some
common
reasons.
Unresolved
issues
Sometimes
people
find
they're
fighting
battles
that
have
far
more
to
do
with
the
past
than
the
present.
Feelings
of
rejection
or
betrayal
in
childhood
can
create
hot
buttons
that
partners
press
without
realising.
For
example,
a
partner
who's
parent
left
suddenly
in
childhood
may
find
themselves
overreacting
to
a
hastily
arranged
business
trip.
Or
a
partner
who
was
always
forced
to
do
gardening
as
a
punishment
when
a
child
may
become
irrationally
angry
when
asked
to
mow
the
lawn.
Sensitive
subjects
If
there
are
taboo
subjects
in
your
relationship
that
always
cause
a
storm,
you
need
to
mention
them
more
often.
If
you
don't,
they
can
become
time
bombs.
Taboo
subjects
can
include
things
such
as
a
forgotten
birthday
or
a
time
when
you
felt
your
partner
wasn't
there
for
you.
Often
it's
something
that
represents
a
serious
breach
of
trust
such
as
an
affair
or
a
breaking
of
confidence.
Burying
old
relationship
problems
is
OK,
but
you
have
to
make
sure
they're
dead
first.
Fighting
for
your
deeper
needs
Couples
often
use
topics
such
as
money,
sex
or
housework
to
fight
for
their
deeper
needs
within
a
relationship.
For
example,
an
argument
over
who
should
pay
for
what
may
really
be
about
where
the
responsibility
lies
and
who's
got
the
power
in
this
situation.
Rows
about
housework
are
often
about
unfilled
needs
for
respect
and
worth.
And
arguing
about
how
often
to
have
sex
is
nearly
always
about
feeling
loved
and
cared
for
and
deeper
needs
for
connection
and
affection.
Hidden
pay-offs
For
some
couples
arguing
actually
plays
a
beneficial
role,
as
it
may
be
the
only
time
they
get
to
share
their
feelings.
It
can
also
add
excitement
to
a
relationship
or
be
a
way
of
getting
attention.
Arguing
can
be
worth
the
pain
because
of
the
joy
of
making
up.
And
when
you
make
up
you
get
to
reaffirm
your
love
for
each
other.
Just
remember:
beneath
the
surface
of
an
argument
often
lurks
a
much
deeper
issue,
desperate
to
be
let
out
and
looked
at
-
and
you'll
keep
on
arguing
until
you
do.
Further
help
If
you
have
concerns
about
your
relationship,
try
talking
it
through
with
your
partner
or
a
trusted
friend,
or
you
might
want
to
consider
seeing
a
relationships
counsellor.
To
find
out
more,
go
to
Do
you
need
counselling?
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